The Incense Between Us
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Phong Tục Việt Nam · The Complete Living Guide

The Incense Between Us

Nén Nhang Giữa Chúng Ta

The complete book of Vietnamese customs — the weddings, the funerals, the death-day feasts, the Tết you half-remember — and, at last, the reasons beneath them. Written for the ones who held the incense without knowing why.

First 50 readers claim Full Lifetime Access — free. of 50 already claimed.
The Lens

The Four Rivers

No Vietnamese custom comes from one place. Each is sediment — four traditions that flowed together over two thousand years. Learn to see the four rivers once, and every ritual in this book explains itself.

Sông Mẹ

The Mother River

The oldest water. Rice-culture animism, the spirits of mountain and river, and Đạo Mẫu — the Mother-Goddess faith that named nature herself as mẹ. Homegrown, never imported.

Carries: the altar's warmth, the goddess, the woman at the center
Sông Nho

The Confucian River

The spine. Hiếu — filial piety — turned love for parents into sacred duty, and made remembering the dead the highest moral act a person could perform.

Carries: hierarchy, the eldest son, duty as devotion
Sông Thiền

The Buddhist–Taoist River

The breath. Karma and rebirth, the wandering souls of Vu Lan, the geomancy of graves, and the Kitchen Gods who ride to Heaven each year to report on your household.

Carries: karma, incense, the auspicious direction
Sông Mới

The New River

The living edge. Colonial rupture, war, and the great scattering of 1975 — customs compressed into a rented hall, giỗ moved to a weekend, lì xì sent by Venmo. Still Vietnamese.

Carries: the diaspora, the reinvention, us
The Complete Map

The Customs

Every major custom, along two axes: the circle of a life (Vòng Đời) and the circle of a year (Vòng Năm). Each opens to its root, its regional splits, and the ache beneath it.

Open Every Time There's a Family Event

The Living Toolkit

This is the part you keep on your phone — the answers you need the night before you stand at the altar, the wedding, or the funeral.

Giỗ, Tết, Vu Lan, Thanh Minh — they all follow the moon, not the Western calendar. Find any lunar date in any year, or convert a solar date to its lunar reading (Vietnam time, GMT+7).

Tap ◭ to hear it. Voice quality depends on your device's Vietnamese support.

Still sacred — most still hold it Softening — elders yes, young mixed Fading — mostly gone
Carry It Forward

Choose Your Access

A passionate few keep this culture alive. This is priced to be owned for a lifetime, not rented — and gifted upward to the elders who taught it.

The Free Hook
$0
Never embarrass yourself again — the anxiety-killer.
  • The "Don't Embarrass Yourself" kiêng kỵ mini-guide
  • The Lunar Date Finder (full)
  • The Four Rivers lens
  • The full customs text
  • Altar, phrases, invited & planners
Full Lifetime
$49
Everything. Forever. The whole living book + app.
  • Every custom, every root, every region
  • Altar Visualizer + all phrase cards with audio
  • The Giỗ & Tết planners
  • Cash-gift calculator (lì xì / phúng / mừng cưới)
  • The full Kiêng Kỵ Checker
  • Lifetime updates + English & Vietnamese editions
Explorer
$19
Read the whole book. Add the tools later.
  • The complete customs narrative
  • All roots & regional callouts
  • Basic occasion checklists
  • Interactive altar & audio phrases
  • Planners & cash calculator

3-day free trial on any paid tier. First 50 readers get Full Lifetime free — of 50 claimed.

A Path, Not Just a Book

Turn What You Know Into $500–$2,000 a Month

Every Vietnamese-American family needs someone who can run a giỗ, guide a wedding, set an altar, and coach a nervous partner before they meet Mom. That someone can be you — as a customs & family-event consultant for your community. This book is your curriculum; these three businesses are how you build real income around it.

Protect the Families You Serve

Wills, estates, elder documents — the legal side of honoring parents. Offer families real protection through LegalShield.

LegalShield →

Bless the Home & the Altar

Clean, ionized Kangen water for the tea, the rice, the offerings — wellness that honors the body as the ancestors' gift.

See the Demo → Purchase via enagic.com · ID #5128664

Rebuild the Family's Footing

Help newcomers and elders fix credit and stand on solid ground in America — practical hiếu, made modern.

EZPZ Credit Fix →

Everything starts at the hub: free5free.pages.dev

The One Who Kept the Incense

Why I Wrote This

I came to America at eleven — a refugee by way of a camp in Malaysia, raised by a foster family, working three jobs before I ever wore a cap and gown at the Carlson School. I spent a decade in the FBI's Foreign Counterintelligence division. And over twenty years, one by one, I brought my entire family back together on American soil.

Along the way I stood at a lot of altars holding incense I didn't fully understand. The elders who knew the why were leaving us, and the why was leaving with them. This book is my attempt to write it down before it's gone — so that you, and your children, will never have to guess again.

Today I'm semi-retired, helping my wife run our nail salon in Bloomington, Minnesota — and building the 1,001 Playbooks, one at a time.

All limitations are self-imposed.
The more things you do, the more life you live!— CườngFBI
A life worth living, is a life always worth recording.— CườngFBI

Cờ Vàng Ba Sọc Đỏ — the flag under which so many of these customs crossed the sea and took root here.

May you always be loving, laughing & living your life to the fullest!